Freefalling
by Someryn
Summary: Paul Lahote had had some very bad days in his life. This was by far the worst. But just because he had imprinted on her didn't mean he had to like her. A Bella/Paul imprint story.
1. One

_**One**_

* * *

Though he was only seventeen, Paul Lahote had already had a lot of shitty days in his life.

His first was the day in the third grade when there was no car waiting for him in the carpool lane for him at his elementary school in Tacoma. His dad had picked him up from the principal's office an hour later, his eyes red.

"Mom needs some space," his dad had said.

What it turned out Mom had needed, of course, was a divorce. And freedom from the pesky responsibility of being a mother and wife.

Paul's second ultra-shitty day came when he was sixteen and a girl from town who came to take pictures at First Beach on the weekends wrinkled her nose at him when he'd introduced himself and said she knew who his dad was and that he'd probably turn out to be a whiskey-drunk just like him.

He'd nodded like the words meant nothing and turned to go to the woods to punch a tree like he'd been doing a lot lately, but instead he'd turned into a giant wolf. The weird kids from the rez, Jared and Sam, came to explain the nightmare that was happening to him, but all he could think about was the comeback that came too late - that taking pictures of the fucking ocean was about as original as posting sepia-toned selfies to Facebook.

His third shitty day happened three days later, when Sam told him to cut ties with the friends he'd had since he was ten years old and the new kid on a tiny rez, and then Alpha-ordered him when he'd refused.

"We have an obligation, Paul," he'd said. "Believe me, I know _exactly_ how much it sucks, but you would be putting your friends in danger."

So Paul had been forced to tell Zach and Tim that he was going to be hanging out with the same weird kids they'd joked about only weeks before. When they had expressed disbelief, he'd walked away and blocked their numbers on his phone. Then he'd stayed in wolf form for a week until he calmed down enough to turn back.

He was pretty sure his dad didn't even notice.

Paul's fourth, and shittiest of all, day came a little after his seventeenth birthday, when the pack had grown to include Embry the Bastard Elephant in the Room and Jacob "Baby Alpha" Black and Paul was trying to balance his patrols and tribe protector responsibilities with, oh, graduating from fucking high school, and the Baby Alpha was causing all sorts of drama within the pack by angsting all over everyone about his One True Wuv, the vampire lover.

Said True Wuv turned out to be a skinny-assed white girl with frizzy brown hair who cowered beside Jacob. But there was something in her eyes as she bit her lip and stared at them that said that she knew _exactly_ what they were.

Paul lost his shit.

This girl, this pale-skinned bitch who had no idea what they sacrificed, who'd dated leeches, the monsters who triggered their curse, got to know about them, while Paul had to live with his former best friends hating him.

Magical vagina girl hadn't earned that right. It was the most unfair fucking thing Paul had ever heard in a short but very unfair life.

Immediately, his body started that familiar shaking like he was shivering, only he was hot, all over. He prepared to give over to the wolf, and the bitch's eyes darted over to him at his movement. He glared at her, daring her to watch what he would become.

At least, that was what he'd intended to do.

What actually happened was his eyes met hers, and all movement stopped.

The world stopped spinning, his shaking stilled, and for one long second, even his heart stopped.

_Imprint_, his wolf, never very far, even in human form, said. _Mine_.

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ!" Paul roared.

He turned his back on her (it was ten times as hard as it should have been, a hundred), leaving his packmates puzzled and staring at him. He couldn't quite remember ever being so angry, making his phase into his wolf nearly instantaneous.

He ignored the girl's (_his_ girl's) soft gasp behind him and started running.


	2. Two

_**Two**_

* * *

Paul ran east.

As a wolf, he knew directions instinctively, in the sense that he always knew where the sun rose and where it set, and from there north and south were easy calculations.

Now, he had a bonus direction: where his imprint was. _Getting farther and farther away_, his wolf said in distress.

But Paul was not just the wolf, and Paul the human wanted nothing to do with this girl. So he kept running, concentrating on the smell of evergreens in the wet spring air, the way the ground felt, damp and deep under his paws, and he most certainly did not think about the fucking nightmare he had just walked into.

It was half an hour before he felt Sam phase in and Paul _knew _when Sam felt the truth in his mind.

_Fuck_, came his voice, then long silence.

Paul ignored him, letting his powerful hindquarters push him forward, the forest floor a dark blur under his paws.

_Paul,_ Sam started finally, but Paul didn't slow.

Suddenly, Jared was there. _Paul, man, what hap-_

_Out, Jared_, Sam's voice interrupted, the force of the Alpha behind it. _And keep the others out, too, until I say otherwise._

Jared abruptly faded from his awareness, leaving him and Sam in that inexplicable mind meld that was the shared wolf mind.

_Leave me alone, Sam_, he thought, without any expectation that his Alpha actually would.

_This isn't going to go away, Paul,_ Sam replied finally.

_I know,_ he said. _But _I_ can._

_Even if I thought you could stay away forever, I can't let you. Not with the redhead still out there. I need you here, with your brothers._

_They're not my brothers,_ Paul found himself thinking sullenly, like a little kid whining about his step-siblings. He wished he could take it back, but the words were already there, lingering.

_They are in all the ways that matter. _Somehow, Sam managed to convey a sigh. _Look, if you need to run, run. I don't blame you. I did. _ Paul got a flash of claws raking across a shocked female face combined with dawning horror, before Sam managed to shut it down. _But be back on the rez within two days. That's an order._

_Aye, aye, Cap'n_, Paul replied bitterly, and Sam phased out.

The miles fell away behind Paul as he kept up his punishing pace. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been alone for so long within the wolf mind. Sam must be keeping them out. He surely wouldn't get much longer, though; Sam wouldn't like them to be without their supernatural abilities with the redheaded leech around.

Against his will, his thoughts kept returning to the brown-eyed leech lover. She wasn't even Native, much less Quileute. Why the fuck would he have imprinted on her? It made no sense. _He_ made no sense.

_Need to be near her, need to protect her_, the wolf chanted. It was louder this time, more urgent.

_You can fuck right off_, Paul thought at it fiercely. The urge didn't go away, though, through the long hours of deep night and into the next morning.

* * *

The first person to phase back in was the second-to-last person Paul wanted to talk to on the entire planet, his imprint being the very last.

_I know you didn't do it on purpose,_ Baby Alpha said in a surprisingly reasonable tone. Paul ignored the slightly less polite image of him with his throat torn out that seeped through from Jacob's side. _Jesus_, _I _know_ that. But goddamn it, Paul, if you weren't my brother I'd hunt your ass down if I had to chase you across the entire fucking country to do it. _

There was that word again. Brother.

_She's never gonna want you like that,_ Jacob said, seeming slightly calmer. _Never_. _She told me that fucking leech broke her, and I thought it was just something she was saying because she was sad, but it's been six months and she's still half-dead. I think maybe she's serious. _

Paul saw Jacob's thoughts flash to Bella, something desperate in her eyes as she stared up at him_. "If I could love anyone again, it would be you, Jake, I swear to god. But I _can't_."_

_That's what she gets for loving a fucking _leech_,_ Paul retorted, refusing to let himself be moved by the raw pain he had seen in the girl's eyes.

_It was dumb, _Jake agreed. _But she didn't know what he was at first, and they're… appealing to humans. That's how they're designed. And even though that asshole didn't love her back, she really did love him. _

_Well, she can keep on loving him. Or you. Or no one. I don't give a shit._

Jacob snorted. _Yeah, that's _totally_ how this is gonna work, Paul. We don't get a damn choice about turning into wolves, and you somehow think you're gonna have any choice about _this_?_ Paul could feel Jake's grimace._ No, you're gonna come back, and it's gonna be for her. And it's gonna be sooner rather than later._

_Oh, go fuck yourself, _Paul said, disgusted. _I'm not with her now, am I? No reason I ever even have to see her pasty white face again._

_Yeah, right, _Jacob said, before phasing out.

_Yeah, right_, echoed Paul's wolf.

Paul shook his head and kept running.

* * *

That evening, Paul felt his steps slowing down, his huge paws hitting the earth more slowly. _Can't go much farther than this_, his wolf said. _Gotta be back by this time tomorrow._ The Alpha order already weighed on him, urging him to turn back.

But back to what? To a pack of half-grown boys he knew way more about than he ever wanted, thanks to their perpetual Vulcan mind meld?

Back to _her_?

Jesus Christ, no.

_Yes_, his wolf said happily. _Back to our mate_.

_She's not our fucking mate_, he told it. _She's a whiny, self-centered little girl who makes terrible life choices._

_Mate, _his wolf said blithely_. Imprint. Ours._

* * *

Paul made it to Forks before sundown. He was starving, having only managed to take down a couple of wild rabbits on his way back. What he wanted to do was get to the rez, where he was pretty sure he still had some leftover casserole that Emily had baked a few days before.

Instead, he found himself standing outside a narrow two-story house he'd never seen before, hiding in the shadows of the back woods. He was absolutely certain that his imprint was inside that house.

If he could have punched himself in the face in wolf form, he would have.

Instead, he leaped forward and began running toward La Push, trying futilely to pretend he didn't feel much better than he had in two days being close to the girl.

When Paul walked into his house, his dad was spread out on the couch, a Mariners game blaring on the television. Rainier bottles were arranged clumsily on the floor beneath his head. It was a slow-drunk night, then, which meant his father would probably be a talker.

Paul ignored him and walked into their tiny kitchen to pull out the casserole. He didn't bother to plate it, just shoved the whole pan into the microwave.

"If I were a better father, I'd beat your ass," his dad mumbled to the TV.

Paul frowned, stepping into the living room. "What?"

His father blinked up at him blearily. "School called this afternoon. Said you'd been skipping so much you're about to fail out. What the hell, kid?"

"Oh." Paul shrugged, fighting down his frustration. He hated that he had to become a high school dropout, hated that he couldn't explain to his dad that he wasn't a complete fuck-up.

(Of course, the leech-lover got to know. _She_ got exceptions.)

"Paul," his dad said, struggling to sit up. Paul grabbed his shoulder and helped him upright. "Paul. You know this is no good. You're a smart kid. You need to get off the rez and make something of your life."

"Yeah, Dad," Paul said. He'd heard this a dozen times before. "But I can't. I've got to be a protector of the tribe."

His dad rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and that's what the elders say, too. But it's bullshit. There's nothing we need protecting from." If only he knew. He leaned forward to peer at Paul, almost falling off the couch in the process. "And even if we did, it shouldn't be teenage boys who haven't had a chance to _live_ yet."

"I know, Dad. Come on, let's get you to bed." Paul hauled his dad's arm around his shoulder and begin leading him down the hall.

"Shouldn't have brought you back to the rez," his dad mumbled. "'S meant to just be for a little while, till I… your mom…"

"Yeah, Dad," he said again, helping his father lie down fully on the bed and switching off the light. "I know."

Sitting down to eat his dinner, Paul tasted nothing. He tried not to think of how his werewolf genes would never have been triggered, and he never would have imprinted on the leech girl, if his dad had never had a nervous breakdown and brought him back to La Push.

He tried not to hate his dad for it.

He wasn't sure he succeeded.


	3. Three

_**Three**_

* * *

Jared came over at first light, letting himself in through the always-unlocked front door and barging into Paul's room like he'd been coming over for years.

He hadn't, of course. Jared was in the same grade as Paul, a year ahead of Baby Alpha and his mini pack, but Jared had always been too… everything for Paul's liking. Too happy, too talkative, too popular.

Now that Paul had had to dump Zach and Tim, Jared was the closest thing Paul had to a friend. He wasn't terrible, really. Just as annoying as fuck, sometimes.

"Damn, Paul," Jared said cheerfully as he stepped into his room. "You really pissed Sam off this time."

"What? Why?" Paul asked, more curious than angry. He'd pissed Sam off plenty of times, and probably would do so plenty more, but he usually knew when he was doing it.

"You were supposed to report in last night," Jared said, shrugging.

"Oh." Technically, Sam had ordered him to be back on the rez by last night, not to report in. What was the hell was there to report, anyway? The Cascades are leech-free, all is well?

"He wanted to talk to you about your _imprint_." Jared's eyes gleamed at the word. "I gotta tell you, I'm hoping she'll calm you the fuck down a little."

Paul grunted. "Why should she? Kim doesn't calm you down."

"Yeah, but I don't have anger issues, dude. Kim helps with…other things."

Paul groaned and threw his pillow at him. Thanks to the wolf mind, he knew _exactly_ what Kim helped with, and how often.

"Not like that! Though," Jared grinned, "that is a perk, too."

"Hate to break it to you, but you could have gotten chicks without imprinting, the way we look now."

Jared shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed, looking uncharacteristically thoughtful. "It's not the same, I promise. There was this girl, April, I hooked up a few times with before I imprinted." His eyes were far away. "It's weird, I can't even imagine what I could have seen in any girl who isn't Kim. But I remember thinking back then it was good, you know? We had chemistry. Then Kim came and blew it out of the water." He chuckled. "No pun intended."

Paul finally decided to get out of bed and see his damn Alpha before Sam got any pissier. "There's not going to be any chemistry between me and the leech-lover," he said firmly, reaching for his wallet and phone. "I know better than to fight it," he said, speaking over Jared's protestations. "I'm not stupid. I know it's there. I'm just going to…ignore it."

Jared followed him out of the house, laughing like that was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

* * *

Any anger his alpha had harbored toward Paul was gone, and Sam was his usual implacable self as he opened the door for Paul. "Take patrol for the next hour," he told Jared, who sighed dramatically but turned to go.

Sam steered Paul to his living room couch, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, Paul glaring at him, and Sam just looking right back at him calmly. Finally, Sam said, "Are you done running away?"

Sitting abruptly upright, Paul scowled at his alpha. "I'm not running _away_, it's not like that-"

"It's done, Paul," Sam said, cutting him off. "Even if she wasn't your imprint, she knows about us. But I don't think we have to worry about her telling anyone."

"Because she didn't tell anyone about the leeches," Paul said flatly.

Sam hesitated. "Yes."

Paul stood up to pace, frustrated. "That just proves she has horrible judgment! She'll probably tell her father all about us and keep the leeches out of it."

"Bella will keep our secret," Emily said as she entered the living room with a stack of sandwiches on a plate. She handed them to Paul and gently pressed his shoulders until he sat back down. "She's a sweet girl, Paul. She came over here with your brothers after you…left."

He scowled at her, but it was hard to be mad at Emily, even when she wasn't bringing him food. "She's an idiot, Em," he said, biting into a sandwich.

She shook her head, sliding easily into Sam's lap. "She's heartbroken," she said, tilting her head to smile gently at her fiancé. "People in love do silly things."

"Not me," Sam said immediately, and Paul heard the levity in his voice that only ever came out when Emily was around.

Emily twisted around to kiss Sam's nose. "You're the silliest of them all," she proclaimed, and her giggle joined Sam's deep chuckle.

Paul rolled his eyes and finished his breakfast with his back to them.

* * *

Paul's reprieve from Baby Alpha ended a few hours later, when Jacob Black came storming up Sam's driveway, righteous indignation in his eyes. Sighing, Paul stood up from where he had been helping Emily place paving stones in her garden and walked toward Jacob, resigned to the inevitable confrontation.

Jacob stopped in front of him, using all of the annoying couple inches he had on Paul to try to loom over him. "You've got to talk to her," Jacob said, and Paul rolled his eyes, unimpressed.

"I really, really don't."

"She's scared," Jake insisted, and damn it, if that wasn't the one thing that could get Paul's wolf to stand up and pay attention.

"Why the fuck would she be? I only phased once I was out of her way."

Jake shook his head. "Not scared that you'll hurt her. Scared that there's something wrong with her. She _knows_ something happened, and Sam said you should be the one to explain it to her. She keeps asking me about you and then trying to figure out why she even cares."

That was interesting. Paul had never paid much attention to how the imprints themselves were affected by the bond. For one, he hadn't really cared, and for another, he never thought it would happen to him. Why would the "gods" match up some poor girl with someone as fucked up as him?

Maybe because he and the leech-lover deserved each other.

Paul chuckled darkly. "You can explain it to her, I don't care. Just make sure she you tell her it's not going to have any impact on her."

Jake growled, actually _growled_ in frustration. "It's already _had_ an impact on her, dick. She said it's like there's a new hole in her heart now, only she doesn't understand _why_."

Paul's stomach clenched at hearing that. Knowing his imprint was in pain was one thing, but being the one to cause the pain was something worse. Something unbearable.

He started pulling off his shirt and shorts before he realized what he'd decided to do. Jake rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Finally," as Paul turned to phase, jogging into the woods.

* * *

The sun was setting by the time he got to the girl's house. Only her rusty-as-shit truck sat out front, daddy's police cruiser nowhere in sight.

He phased and grabbed the pair of shorts he'd tied around his neck. Glancing around to make sure no neighbors were around, he jogged up to her front door and knocked.

After a few seconds, she opened the door. She was even paler than he remembered, her hair pulled back tightly into a messy ponytail and dark shadows under her eyes. She looked like hell, and at the same time she looked wonderful to him.

"I'm Paul," he said, when she didn't say anything.

"Hi, Paul," she echoed, staring somewhere around his knees. Was the girl half-robot, too?

"I need to talk to you."

There was a long pause, as if it took her a long time to process those six words. Wordlessly, she stepped aside, and he followed her into the living room.

"Sit," he told her. She looked like a light breeze would topple her. Her brow furrowed like she was going to argue, but she sat obediently on the couch.

He remained standing, too tense to sit down. "Do you know what imprinting is?" he asked her. No use delaying the inevitable.

She shook her head. "Well, like what ducks do?" she amended.

He barked out a laugh. "No. Imprinting is when one of _us_," he gestured vaguely at himself, so she would understand he meant the pack, "or, rather, our wolf, decides we've met our mate."

"Okay," she said, still sounding like she had no idea why he was bringing this up. He stayed silent. "_Oh_. Really?"

"Yeah," he said dryly. "Really. But don't worry, you're not going to be inconvenienced. We're in control of our wolves." Mostly. "I'm only telling you this because Jacob told me you knew something felt weird about me."

She brought her fingers to her breastbone, almost absent-mindedly. "Empty," she agreed. "It was getting better… a little. But then suddenly I couldn't breathe again."

"Shit," he said, dropping to his knees in front of her before he could think better of it. "I didn't mean to hurt you." Apparently he was just _that_ good at hurting people unintentionally, though. "I think if I'm just nearby, you'll be fine. I'll come patrol by your house at night."

"It got better yesterday evening," she said, seeming to ignore his words. "You came back then, didn't you? I thought I was going crazy, but suddenly the pressure was gone."

"Yeah," he said. "I was in the woods outside your house. But goddamn it, staying close should be enough so I don't hurt you. I'll keep fighting it."

"Fighting…it?" she echoed faintly, and her hand dropped from her chest. For the first time since he'd knocked on her door, she looked him in the eyes, but her expression was blank. "You don't… want me?" she said slowly, her mouth shaping the words uncertainly, as if she was repeating words she didn't quite understand.

He surged upward, taking a step back from the girl with the big brown eyes. "Of course I _want_ you," he growled. "That's the entire fucking problem, isn't it? I don't even _know_ you. And you sure as shit don't like me."

She shrugged, like fucking _imprinting_ meant nothing to her. "I only just met you," she said. "How could I know whether I liked you or not?"

"I could take a bet which side you'd fall on. But I guess we'll have to live with never knowing," he said with a sneer, watching her closely to see if rudeness would get a reaction out of her.

She bit her lip but didn't say anything. For Christ's sake, this girl was a fucking zombie. Why the fuck would the gods give him _her_?

"Whatever, I'll be outside your house tonight," he told her in disgust, moving toward the door. "And eat a fucking sandwich. Or two. I'll know if you don't." He hadn't meant to say that last part, but damn it, it was true. She was translucent skin wrapped over bones, and she _needed_ to eat.

Thanks to a cruel stroke of fate, there was now _nothing_ he knew as well as what Bella Swan needed.

* * *

The police cruiser still wasn't outside the house when Paul came back that night after his evening patrol. He settled on his haunches and prepared for a couple hours of fun staring intently at the siding on the corner of the house where he knew his imprint was sleeping.

Less than half an hour later, though, the girl started screaming like someone was cutting off her leg.

He _knew_ there was no one in that house but her – his wolf senses guaranteed it. That didn't stop him from phasing human and bouncing up the tree outside her window like a fucking spider monkey, though.

As he climbed in through her surprisingly well-greased window, he realized she was just having a nightmare. She was half sobbing, half yelling into her pillow, her covers tangled at her feet. Regardless of the cause, she was in _pain_, and that was unacceptable_._

In two long strides he was across her room, his hand hovering over her shoulder for a second before he manned up and touched her. It felt like static electricity, but softer and warmer somehow.

She stilled almost at once, then sat bolt upright, dislodging his hand.

"Paul? What – oh my god, put on some pants." He looked down, realizing for the first time that, of course, he was butt naked. She covered her face.

He rolled his eyes but walked over to her dresser to save her delicate eyes. The second drawer he opened proved to hold sweatpants and athletic shorts. He held up the biggest pair of shorts he could find, still looking at it doubtfully. He tugged them on with difficulty over his heavily muscled thighs, and they fit as tightly as boxer briefs on him.

The girl raised her eyes again slowly, not looking below his neck. "Okay," she said. "Now, what are you doing in here?"

Paul stared at her, not understanding the question. "You were having a nightmare."

"Yeah," she said with a one-armed shrug. "I have those a lot."

"Well, you're not going to anymore," he said without thinking. "Not now that I'm here."

"I'm not?" she repeated. "I thought you didn't care about me."

"Jesus, girl, I'm not _cruel_," he burst out. Was he, though? He was suddenly sure of something else. "And you didn't eat shit for dinner, did you?"

She flinched and looked away, and he knew he was right. "I couldn't!" she said, wrapping her arms around herself. "My heart's gone, and my stomach…"

"Bullshit," he said, brushing past her to start downstairs to the kitchen. "You talk, you sleep, you breathe. You're alive. Start acting like it."

She shook her head as if she was actually trying to deny that fact, but she did trail him reluctantly into the kitchen like a ghost.

He made her two ham and cheese sandwiches and stared at her while she picked at them. She got three-quarters of the way through one before shoving the plate away.

"I can't," she said, and this time he believed her. He remembered reading somewhere that if you starved yourself for long enough, your appetite shrank dramatically. He was going to have to work on giving her slowly increasing portions.

"Okay," he said, picking up the remains of the sandwiches and shoving it into his mouth. No need to let good food go to waste. "Go back upstairs and go to sleep. I'll stay for a couple more hours to make sure you don't have any more nightmares."

"You can't tell me what to do," she said, and for a moment there was actual emotion in her words. Annoyance, or anger.

Then she was back to being the blank-faced zombie, big brown eyes just watching him for his reaction.

"I _know_ what you need," he told her. "It's as annoying as fuck, but it's true. And since you're obviously ignoring what your own fucking _body _is telling you, you're just gonna have to deal with me doing it for you."

Her mouth dropped open in indignation. He got right up in her face, where he could see the flecks of light brown in her otherwise dark, dark eyes. All he could think of was getting a reaction, any reaction out of her.

"You want to make decisions for yourself again? Put on your big girl panties and prove you're capable of it."

"You-" she sputtered, her fists clenching. "Jacob will-"

"Jacob won't be doing shit," he told her with a sneer. "Imprinting is the wolf's business, no one else's. And Jacob's obviously not what you need, or he would've imprinted on you, wouldn't he?"

"The idea that I need _you_ in my life is…is _laughable_," she spat. "If anyone was going to imprint on me, it should've been Jake. _He_ took care of me."

Paul laughed out loud. "No, he _babied_ you. He's hero-worshipped you since he was five. He gave you whatever you wanted, not what you needed. You had a _bad breakup_, for Christ's sake; you didn't watch your parents die in a fire."

"My heart-"

Paul raised his hand and pressed it against her chest, just above the swell of her left breast. She sucked in a startled breath.

"Your heart is still in there. I can hear it beating from across the room; I can feel it now."

She stepped back, and Paul let his hand fall to his side. "It's not the same," she whispered. "_He_ took everything good in me with him when he left."

"He didn't take shit," he said sharply. "He broke up with you and left you lost in the woods like the asshole he is. You're still you."

"I'm not… I'm broken."

"Jesus Christ, girl," he said in disgust. "You're not a toy to be fixed. If I could get over the leech for you, I would. But you've got to decide that's what you actually want."

She cowered back from him a little, her anger fading as quickly as it had sparked. He had a horrible realization. "You don't _want_ to get over him, do you?"

She dropped her eyes to the floor, and he stepped forward again to grip her arms. "He left you in the _woods_. It's been half a _year_. He's _gone_. You've got to stop pining for him like a…like a sad little puppy. You're better than that."

"Am I?" It sounded like a rhetorical question, but he answered it anyway, with a surprising amount of complete conviction in this pathetic-as-fuck girl he barely knew.

"You really, really are."

* * *

_Thanks to everyone who has read so far! Next chapter should be out within a week or two. I'm expecting this to be somewhere around 40k words total, when all is said and done. Reviews are happily accepted!_


	4. Four

_**Four**_

The next morning, Paul woke up to a vaguely familiar beeping from the vicinity of his desk. He threw a pillow at it sleepily, and the beeps still came, but they were muffled.

It had been almost three in the morning when Paul had made it back to the rez after sitting outside his imprint's house for a couple more hours, not wanting to fall asleep in case she had another nightmare (she hadn't). Whatever time it was now, he was still exhausted.

He finally realized what the noise was – it was his bedside alarm clock, set to go off at six for school. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been home at this time to hear it. He usually ran the late night to early morning patrols, since his sole parent gave far fewer fucks than almost any of the other pack member's parents about him being gone in the middle of the night. Sam had given the evening patrol yesterday, though, probably trying to "ease" Paul into the fabulous imprinted lifestyle.

He rolled over and grabbed the clock from where it had fallen to the floor, turning it in his hands thoughtfully. Hardly anyone in the pack went to school anymore, except for Embry, whose mom would have flipped a shit fit to rival a rampaging bear if he'd dropped out.

Paul had never loved school, but he didn't hate it, either. He had nothing he had to do for the pack today; he could go to class, if he wanted.

_And then what? _the tiny voice in the back of his head asked. _Stare at Zach and Tim and get butthurt if they don't try to talk to you, but yell at them if they do? Make your first and last appearance at school for the month? See how badly, exactly, you're failing every class?_

Fuck no. Going to school would be worse than useless.

Pretending he didn't care at all, he pressed the clock's reset button, erasing all the alarms, and turned over to go back to sleep.

* * *

When Paul woke up a few hours later, it was to an uncommonly beautiful late morning, with a few rays of sunshine even able to find their way through the thick threes surrounding his house and onto his bedspread.

Even the view from his window couldn't cheer him up, though. As he had done so often since he first phased, he woke up pissed off and starving.

His dad was eating breakfast when Paul walked into the kitchen, meaning it wasn't as late as he'd thought. He almost walked right back out, but he was too hungry to wait for him to leave.

"Decided school wasn't for you, son?" his dad asked dryly as he took a bite of his cereal.

Paul almost retorted, "Decided work wasn't for you, Dad?" but decided it wasn't worth the argument. His dad had thrown his back out five years ago while working as an electrician, but he'd recovered, and he had prescription pain pills to cover any flare-ups. Instead of getting a job again, though, he pocketed the disability checks and spent most afternoons playing poker with a group of perpetually unemployed or retired tribe members at the senior center.

Paul privately thought his dad had been waiting all his life for an excuse to quit trying, and he'd finally found one.

He settled for grunting and shrugging, reaching for a package of lunch meat to make himself a sandwich. He shoved the sloppy pile of meat and cheese into his mouth as he sat down across from his dad. He'd never been much of a cook, but these days he didn't have the patience for much of anything at all.

Least of all, his imprint bond, which he could feel tugging in his chest again, an invisible line pulling directly to wherever his imprint was now, probably at school. _She_ didn't have to drop out, after all. He wondered what classes she took, which ones were her favorites.

He abruptly shoved himself away from the table, making the milk in his dad's bowl slosh over. "Paul?"

"Don't worry about it," he muttered. The bond was turning him into such a pussy. _Next you'll wonder what her favorite color is, if she likes chocolate or vanilla better. _He could feel the shaking starting.

He left his father sitting at the table, bemused and walked into the woods, threw off his shorts, and phased.

Jared was the only other one in wolf form, patrolling the north end of their land. '_Sup, Paul_?

_I'll take patrol_, Paul told him. _Got nothing else to do_. He certainly wasn't imagining showing up at his imprint's school like a retarded Tonto and following her around. Definitely not.

_You sure?_ Jared asked, but he was already trying to figure out if he could get to the rez high school in time to sit with Kim at lunch.

Jared had never for a microsecond stopped to think that imprinting on Kim, who he had never even talked to before the day he'd imprinted, had been anything short of wonderful, with clouds parting and angelic choruses and all that shit. How he could possibly think that, Paul didn't know, and he didn't ask.

_Go_, Paul told him, and Jared went.

Paul began running, first an easy, loping pace, then faster until he was running full-out through the forest, his eyes judging the easiest path through the trees a second before his legs took him there. Not running headfirst into a tree took up all his mental energy, and for a time he allowed himself to _be_ the wolf. Wolves didn't have shitty parents, or failing report cards, or imprints who could barely speak two words without looking like they wanted to throw up halfway through.

When he came back to himself, the sun was past its midday peak, and he felt some small measure of peace - not an emotion he was familiar with. It was a nice change, not thinking about anything at all for a while. Not thinking about _her_.

Then Jacob phased in, and it all dispersed like mist.

_Hey_, Jake said after a minute.

Paul didn't dignify him with a response.

_You should go see her_, Jacob said, offering up his completely inane advice like it was a gift. _I can tell it's driving you crazy_.

_Seriously, dude, shut the fuck up. _Paul clamped down on his thoughts, purposely thinking about how hungry he was instead. Maybe he could get Emily to feed him? She usually had food on hand for impromptu pack meetings…

_Bella likes to cook,_ Jacob volunteered.

Paul almost changed direction and ran toward where he knew Baby Alpha was, along their eastern border. A fight might do him good and would definitely distract him for a while.

He was _certainly_ not filing away this little nugget of information on his imprint like it was a precious secret.

Amusement snaked through from Jacob's end. _Dude, you're kind of making up for how pissed I am that you imprinted on my girl._

_She's not yours. _Had that been him, or his wolf? Either way, it was simply the truth_. She's mine. My imprint._

_Really? _Jacob said, sounding unperturbed. _Kind of hard to tell, since you're not with her._

_Don't feel like it,_ Paul lied, and then immediately wondered why he was even wasting his energy, when the truth was there in his mind for Jacob to clearly see. He wanted – he _needed_ – to see his imprint, to smell her and know that she was safe and unharmed, even though it had barely been twelve hours since he'd last seen her.

That enraged him like nothing else could have.

_I'm so fucking tired of not having any say over my own _fucking_ life_! he shouted, if you could shout in your head. He started running again, sprinting, just to have something to do with the furious energy that was coursing through him. _First we turn into wolves, and now I'm stuck with _her – _the stupid, whiny leech lover? What the fuck?_

For a moment, he thought Jacob had phased back to human, since there was nothing from the pack mind for long minutes. _I hate that you get to have her, and you don't even _want_ her, _he said finally_. I hate that I still want her to be happy, and she's not ever going to have any shot at that unless you're around. _

Paul saw through Jacob's eyes as he lunged for a deer, his mouth snapping at the fleeing animal. Jacob _never_ hunted in wolf form.

_Most of all,_ Jacob said, leaping through the air and fastening his teeth around the deer's flank, pulling flesh away savagely, _I hate that I can't even hate you for it._

* * *

Paul lasted another hour before he couldn't stand not being near his imprint for a minute longer. Jacob had phased out with the parting words of, _Just go see her, dude, before you turn into an even bigger asshole than you already are._

Being around her was going to turn him into _more_ of an asshole, though. Paul didn't understand how everyone else couldn't see that. If he annoyed them now, he could just imagine how much worse he'd be after having to spend time with Her Royal Sadness, who somehow managed to infuriate him more than anyone else on the planet could. They should be begging him to stay _away_ from her.

_This is stupid, this is stupid_, he thought over and over as he ran toward his imprint.

He didn't stop, though.

He phased in the patch of woods outside her high school and slipped his shorts on, watching from the trees as students trickled out in threes and fours, laughing and shouting to each other as they got into their cars.

Even if he hadn't been able to feel her, he would have noticed her immediately. Her head was ducked down, her arms wrapped tight around her sides as she walked slowly toward the parking lot, alone.

When she was about half the length of the lot from him, her shoulders tensed up. She stared directly at him, and even from the distance her eyes looked dull and lifeless.

He met her at her truck, aware of the other students who stilled to watch him. He was shirtless, barefoot and decidedly not white, after all.

"Paul?" she said as she walked up to him. "What are you doing here?" He was stupidly pleased that she didn't look annoyed that he was there, just surprised.

He wanted to touch her, run his hands through her hair. He wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and put his scent on her, so that everyone would know she was _his_.

That was so dumb that he almost couldn't believe he'd thought it, except for all the other crazy shit that was his life.

He shoved his hands in his pockets just to make sure they wouldn't sneak off on their own and reach for her outside his conscious control.

_I wanted to see you_, was what he wanted to say but couldn't. _I needed to make sure you were okay._

Instead he said, "Just wanted to see if you were going to be home this evening so I could stay outside your house like I did last night." That was a stupid lie, and it didn't even make sense – he could have found her wherever on the planet she went - but she didn't call him on it.

She frowned. "Is it…Tuesday?" He nodded, slightly worried that she'd managed to make it through the whole day without knowing that. "Then I have to work today. Till six. But after that I'll be home."

"Okay," he said, memorizing her face. She looked tired, but he was starting to suspect that she always looked tired. He could tell her backpack was too heavy for her, and before he realized what he was doing he was reaching out to tug it off of her shoulders, tossing it into the passenger seat. "I'll come over after that. I'll be in the woods unless you…need me."

"Okay," she echoed, her eyes darting to his as if she wanted to say something else, but she just looked away and climbed up into the driver's seat. Her foot slipped on the footrest, which was wet from condensation, but she straightened herself quickly, and he tried to look like he hadn't been about to lunge for her. "I guess I'll see you then, maybe," she said awkwardly and started the engine.

He nodded once and walked back the way he had come. Back in his wolf form, he felt much calmer than he had all day.

A few minutes later, Jacob phased back in. _Oh, thank Christ_, he said with relief.

_Shut up, _Paul returned immediately, but this time, there was no malice in it.

* * *

After patrol, Paul returned to the patch of woods closest to his imprint's house, preparing for a long watch as he had done last night. He could hear her moving around downstairs, opening drawers and running water. Making dinner, maybe?

Only a few minutes later, though, he could tell something was wrong. The tugging in his chest hadn't gotten any better, and it was causing him physical discomfort now.

_I'm less than fifty feet from her!_ he thought, irritated.

_Need to be closer,_ his wolf said urgently.

_Um, how about no_. He bit down on an involuntary whimper as the tugging increased.

Suddenly, the back door sprang open, and his imprint stood in the doorway, her eyes scanning the woods until they stopped directly where he was, though he doubted she could see him. Her arms were wrapped around her chest. "Paul?" she called out urgently.

Before he registered hearing his name, he was in front of her, scenting the air worriedly for any sign of danger. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"Oh," she said in surprise, staring down at him. To his shock, she reached out to touch his head.

Her touch warmed his whole body down to his toes.

She jerked her hand away like she'd touched a hot pan, and he wondered if she'd felt something similar. "You're fast," she said weakly.

He took a few steps backward to make sure he was out of her way and phased human. "The fastest," he told her smugly, grabbing the shorts he'd tied around his ankle and pulling them on.

When he looked up again, she was bright red. "You've got to stop doing that," she muttered.

He shrugged. "You'll get used to it. What's wrong?"

"I-" She stopped, looking surprised. "Nothing, now. I just…it hurt. The…bond, I guess."

"Well, I'm here," he said gruffly. He wondered if it would start hurting if he left again right now. Not that he would do that to her (that he _could_), but he'd thought that being in her vicinity would be enough to "trick" the imprint bond. He had the sinking feeling that he'd been wrong, that the bond was slowly roping him in, drawing him tighter and tighter to his imprint.

She nodded, her face going blank again. He knew zombie mode would kick in if he didn't keep her talking. For some reason, he really, really didn't want that to happen.

"How was work?" he asked lamely.

She grimaced. "It was work. Busy. I don't like talking to the customers, but at least it makes the time go by faster."

The scent of garlic and tomatoes was coming from the direction of the kitchen. He'd only had time to grab a couple burgers from Emily's house before he'd had to leave for patrol, and he was still hungry. His stomach growled, making her jump.

She looked from him to her still open doorway, her brow furrowed. "Have you eaten? You could… my dad's working the night shift all week. I just started on dinner."

His pride warred with both his hunger and his desire to be as close to his imprint as possible, and pride lost. "Yeah," he said, motioning her to go ahead of him. "Okay."

* * *

Her cooking was fucking amazing.

Ever since Paul had started growing abnormally fast as his body prepared to make its big debut into wolfdom, he'd been hungry all the time, and it had never, ever stopped.

He wouldn't be able to hold down a job to afford more food until his around-the-clock patrols ended, and he tried not to eat his dad out of house and home since the disability checks only went so far, plus his dad's indifference might have actually escalated into something resembling concern if he regularly saw his son putting away four thousand plus calories a day.

His imprint pulled the pan of lasagna she'd made out of the oven and made a plate for her dad, which she set in the refrigerator, and a took small slice for herself. Wordlessly, she set what remained in the pan down in front of Paul.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Are you sure this is enough?" he said sarcastically.

"You're hungry," she said, frowning. He wondered if that was just a guess or if she could feel him in a similar way to how he felt her. "_Really_ hungry. Eat."

He picked up his fork and obeyed. It was the best meal he'd ever had.

As he rose to put his dishes in the dishwasher, he realized that he was completely full. He couldn't remember ever feeling like he'd gotten enough to eat since before he'd phased the first time. It was a homey, secure, comfortable feeling.

As he walked over to where his imprint was sitting at the bar, he realized she was just picking at her meal, scooping pieces up with her fork, turning them over, and setting them back down. "You're not eating."

"I am," she said weakly, but she was lying.

He shook his head, annoyed but not as pissed off as he would have been on an empty stomach. "Don't try that shit on me. That might work on other people, but we talked about this yesterday - I know what you need, and right now what you need is to _eat_. You've been starving yourself for too long."

She glared down at her plate, but he stayed beside her chair, just looking at her. She finally ate a tiny bite, swallowing pointedly. She picked up another piece, looking surprised, and ate it much more quickly.

"See?" he said. "Fucking delicious, right?" The corner of her mouth lifted in the tiniest semblance of a smile."I told you, I know-" A loud howl pierced the night air, and she dropped her fork.

Paul sprinted toward the back door. He recognized Sam's cry. It was close, which meant Sam had come to where he knew Paul would be for a reason.

Another howl entwined with Sam's – Jared. Paul suspected they were all out there, waiting for him to join them.

His imprint had moved to stand beside him in the doorway. "Is that the pack?" she asked.

Paul nodded sharply. "Stay inside until I come back," he told her. "Don't leave the house, I'm serious."

Her eyes widened. "Why?" she called after him, but he was already running into the woods, phasing as soon as he was in the trees.

* * *

Remorse slammed into him once he phased and began running to where he knew Sam was waiting.

_Sorrysorrysorry, _came Quil's voice.

Paul caught a glimpse of Quil's memory of himself sleeping. Sleeping through his assigned patrol probably, the idiot.

_The leech made it onto our land,_ Sam said, and a bolt of outrage shot through Paul_. _Just the thought of their unnaturalness on tribal land made his heart beat faster, his lips curling back as he imagined sinking his teeth into leech flesh and _ripping_.

He burst through a grove of trees and saw Sam and Jared's wolves. They began running back in the direction of the rez as soon as he drew close.

_She's looking for something, _Jacob said. He was guarding a tight perimeter around the residential portion of La Push, pausing to scent the air every hundred feet or so. _She got really close to my house for some reason._

_What the fuck does she want? _Paul said, though he wasn't expecting an answer. They had all asked that question multiple times over the past month or so since they'd first scented her near the rez.

Sam sent back his confusion, his frustration. _If we can get upwind of her, we might have a chance to catch her unaware. I'll have you chase her, Paul, since you're the best sprinter, and the rest of us will try to corral her from either side so that you can have a chance to catch up to her._

_I can try,_ he said doubtfully. _But she's fucking _fast_, Sam. I'm not making any promises._

_I know, _Sam said._ Just do your best._

As it turned out, though, it didn't matter.

_Gone_, Embry said in disgust a few hours later as he finished the widest circuit of the ever-widening perimeter that Sam had assigned them to run. _That was fifty miles, Sam_. _Nothing_.

_Fuck,_ Sam said, followed by a tense silence in the pack. Though the Alpha's thoughts were mostly hidden unless he intentionally shared them, Paul knew he was thinking furiously, generating and discarding plans in seconds.

_We're gonna have to patrol two at a time from now on,_ he said finally.

A chorus of dismay rose from them all. There were only six of them, and that meant their daily four hour shifts had just turned into eight hour shifts.

_Do you want to have to tell someone that you let their parent or their sibling or their child die because you didn't feel like doing your duty?_ Sam asked fiercely, and the complaining stopped. _We'll get the leech, and then we can go back to single shifts. That's the way it has to be, with just the six of us._

_Seth Clearwater is shooting up like a weed_, Jared said thoughtfully. _I saw him last week and he looks at least two or three years older than he is._

Everyone politely pretended they didn't notice the flare of pain that shot through Sam at the mention of Leah Clearwater's younger brother. _This leech is going to trigger the phase in him, even though the Cullens are gone,_ he said heavily. _That alone is reason enough to get rid of her as quickly as possible._

There wasn't much to say after that.

Paul volunteered to take the night shift with Sam, since his dad still wasn't any closer to noticing when his son was home or not. As the rest of the pack phased back to human, he and Sam set off to cover opposite ends of the tribe's boundary and work their way toward the middle.

Paul couldn't help thinking of his imprint, how he likely wouldn't get a chance to see her for another day at least, and how he _already_ hurt from being apart from her (_and what was she doing, would she be worried, would she eat enough tomorrow_), how he would have to figure out how he was going to have time to protect his imprint, fulfill his duty to the pack, and maybe, occasionally, eat and sleep. It was still better than the alternative, though – letting the leech live.

He might be a dick, but even he wasn't selfish enough to wish this life on anyone else.

* * *

_Thank you for all your sweet comments! I'm enjoying writing Paul. Much more Paul/Bella interaction in the next chapter. _


	5. Five

**_Five_**

By the time the sun rose over the forested hills, Paul could barely concentrate on anything except seeing his imprint. He couldn't stop replaying how fragile she'd looked, standing in the doorway beside him, and he was willing to bet she hadn't eaten without him there to make her.

_Go to her, _Sam said._ You're about to give me an anxiety attack just by listening to you._

_You're just fine_, he told Sam, aggrieved.

_Yeah, but that's because Emily is fine. Bella needs you. Go wake Jake up to patrol and you can go to her._

_But-_

He could feel Sam's exasperation._ Come on, Paul, don't make me Alpha order you. Seriously, just go get Jake._

Paul gave in, abandoning the perimeter he had been running and starting toward Jacob's house. He wanted to be angry that he wasn't strong enough to stay away from his imprint, but he couldn't bring himself to be anything but grateful for the chance to see her that much sooner.

He let himself into the Blacks' house so that he wouldn't wake Billy, and his imprint's scent filled his nose as soon as he took his first breath inside. She had been here, not within the past week or so, but her scent was finely diffused throughout the house from coming over many times before that.

Paul fought down an irrational surge of rage, that she had been _here_ and not with him. He _knew_ she was friends with Baby Alpha, knew that she had been at the rez off and on over the past few months, and he still hated that she'd been with Jacob and not him.

The house was small, as most houses on the rez were, so there were only a few possibilities for Jacob's room, and Paul's bloodhound-worthy nose swiftly led him to a door on the far end. He shoved it open.

Jacob was asleep, sprawled across a twin-sized bed that was way too small for him. Paul kicked one of the legs, and the whole bed frame shook.

"What?" Jacob sat upright, looking around wildly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Congratulations," Paul told him. "You get to start patrol now, since I have to go babysit my imprint."

Jacob glared at him, though the effect was somewhat diminished by his slightly unfocused gaze. "You want to talk about babysitting imprints, Paul? Who do you think had to calm down a panicking imprint when she called here at midnight?"

Paul blinked. "What?" Before Jacob could respond, though, he remembered. _Don't leave the house until I come back. _"Fuck."

"Yeah," Jacob said. "Good going with that, really. She thought you were _dead_."

He was an idiot. The hunt for the leech had driven all thought of what he'd told her from his mind. "I'm going. Go patrol with Sam."

He hurried back out the front door before Jacob could respond.

* * *

After he returned to wolf form and began following the feel of his imprint's pull inside him, he berated himself for being such a dumbass.

He'd been bitching about his imprint doing stupid things, and now here he was, equally stupid. How was he supposed to know how to handle the bond without fucking everything up? He needed a fucking instruction manual.

For the first time since imprinting, he felt a spark of fear that he _wouldn't_ be able to handle it, that he was doomed to drag both himself and his imprint down until they both went crazy.

The bond, which had been slowly increasing in intensity throughout the night, suddenly escalated to a white-hot band wrapped around his chest, snapping him out of his misery. He stumbled and almost plowed into a tree as he tried to regain his balance.

_Paul?_ Sam's voice sounded alarmed.

Paul ignored him, focusing on the wolf inside him as he never had before. It was terrified, more scared than he had ever felt it.

_Not right - get to her - danger. _The primal panic intensified._ Go!_

_I'm going_, he thought frantically, speeding up as much as he could. Something was wrong, she needed him and he _wasn't with her_.

He covered the remaining distance to her neighborhood in less than five minutes, but as he got closer to her house, he realized with a sinking feeling that she wasn't there. It was six in the morning – why wasn't she at home?

The bond tugged him behind her house and into the woods. He could feel his heartbeat pounding in time with his legs hitting the ground. He needed to be with her _now_.

Finally, thank the gods he didn't really believe in, he could smell her nearby, and a minute later he saw her, her back to him.

She was crouched on top of a steep ledge that he had seen the redheaded leech catapult off of in Jared's memories a few weeks ago, her toes hanging over empty air. It was at least a fifty foot drop to the forest floor below.

"-gone, and I barely see _you_ anymore," she was muttering. "What am I supposed to do if you go away completely, huh?"

Rocks and dirt crumbled away under her feet as her weight shifted. She gasped and fell back on her butt, but she didn't move any farther away from the edge than she had to, and her eyes remain fixed on the same spot of air in front of her.

Paul pulled her upright before she realized he was there, before _he_ realized he had phased, pulling her back against his chest for a second to reassure himself that she was still okay, still alive, then pushing her farther away from the edge. She stumbled back a few feet until she backed into a tree and stared at him, shocked.

"What the fuck were you doing, Isabella?" His chest heaved with the effort of trying to contain his fury, not to phase again. He couldn't yell at her in wolf form.

"I just-" she clutched her chest and dropped her eyes, and he knew she was preparing to lie to him.

"If you lie to me, I swear to god I will tell your father how I found you." His bond burned painfully at the thought of being separated from her, but her in a psych ward was better than her _dead_. "Tell me the truth. Right now."

Her eyes filled with tears, but he waited. "I…sometimes I can hear h-_his_ voice, if I put myself in danger, telling me not to do it. And," she added in a tiny voice, "I see him. Sometimes."

He took a deep breath. Then another. "You can hear and see the leech who dumped you scolding you if you risk your life," he said flatly. "That's so many levels of fucked up I don't even think a word exists to describe it. You know that, right?"

She flinched, tears streaming down her face now. "That's the only thing that gets me through the day, Paul! Knowing I might be able to see him, hear him."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. He is _not_ what you're living for." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her with him back toward the road. "I'm going to have someone in the pack on you at all times. I knew I needed to protect you from yourself, but I had no idea it was _this_ bad."

She started crying again, trying futilely to pull away from him. "No! I don't need to be _babysat_!"

"For fuck's sake, you were considering killing yourself!" He got right in her face. "Do not even open your goddamn mouth and try to tell me that's not what you were thinking of doing."

She didn't.

When he could speak without his words trembling with rage, he said, "Your life is fucking priceless. I'm not going to let you throw it away."

She said nothing.

* * *

After he pulled on some shorts so her neighbors wouldn't have a heart attack if they saw him, he walked her home. She had stopped crying, and now her eyes were set straight ahead, blank. She didn't look at him as they walked.

Paul had known it was bad – hell, anyone who spent more than five minutes with her knew it – but he hadn't been expecting anything like _this_. She was talking to a hallucination that she _knew_ wasn't real, and that probably hadn't even been the first time she'd considered killing herself.

His mind stumbled on the horror of what living in her head must feel like and he forced himself on, past that and onto something he _could_ do something about – helping her.

Her dad's car wasn't in the drive – _seriously, did the man sleep at the police station?_ – so Paul followed her inside the house and into the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee, her hands shaking.

"Bella," he said, more gently this time. "We're gonna figure this out, okay?"

She turned away from him. "I don't _want_ it figured out," she muttered. Setting down the cup she'd just poured, she turned, running up the stairs. He heard a door slam seconds later.

Paul sighed heavily, the last of his anger fading away to be replaced with the same fear he'd felt earlier – that he couldn't do this, that he'd fuck her up even worse than she already was.

He tried to tell himself that it was a good thing that she was mad. It meant she wasn't completely dead inside. It still didn't feel very good to have his imprint hate, him, though.

Pushing aside that thought, he looked around for a home phone. He was going to have to figure out how to keep his cell phone on him in wolf form.

He finally found a cordless phone plugged in on the far side of the couch. He listened for a moment to make sure his imprint wasn't about to come back down the stairs, but she was still in her room, either sitting or lying down and not moving much. He dialed Jared's number.

Jared, being Jared, started talking halfway through Paul's greeting. "'Sup, Paul? Did you just get off patrol? I bet doing eight hours fucking _sucked_."

"Yeah, it was about as exciting as watching paint dry," Paul told him. "Listen, Jared, I need a favor."

There was no hesitation. "Sure, man, what is it?" Such easy acceptance, Paul marveled. With Jared, everything was easy.

"I need you to ask Sue Clearwater something for me."

"Okay?" Jared said, sounding perplexed.

Paul explained.

* * *

After hanging up with Jared, Paul fell asleep on the couch. He hadn't meant to, but he'd obviously been more tired than he'd realized. It was too bad he wasn't like the leeches, who apparently never had to sleep.

His imprint coming down the stairs woke him up, and he was standing by the time she got to the bottom. They stared at each other wordlessly for a minute.

She'd pulled her hair back and changed out of her sweatpants and into blue jeans. She still looked tired and almost gaunt, but not like she was about to pass out. "I slept a little," she offered finally, coming to a stop in front of him. "I couldn't do that…last night."

Paul grimaced. "Yeah, that was my fault. I won't do that again."

"You never - " She broke off, looking away. "You never came back."

"I know," he said heavily. "I fucked up." He swallowed. He _hated_ apologizing, but she deserved it. "I'm sorry."

She clutched her chest, and the pained gesture made him wince. "It's just, _he_'s gone, and you were gone, and everything _hurt_. I wanted it not to, just for a little while."

"Does – seeing _him_ - " he could barely get the words out. "Does it make you feel better?"

She stared at the floor, chewing on her lip. "In the moment, when I see him… but, afterwards, I feel even worse." She looked surprised after she said it, as if it was the first time she'd thought about it.

"I'm – I talked to someone. About the generalities," Paul rushed to add at her horrified expression. "No one knows about you. But she's going to tell me what we can do to, you know, help. Make you feel better." _So you'll quit hallucinating your bloodsucking ex-boyfriend_, he added silently.

"No pills," she said immediately.

"No," he agreed as if he'd never even considered that. It was a last resort, though she didn't need to know that now."But I think she can help."

She raised her eyes to his, and for once they were clear, focused on him. "Why – why are you trying to help me? Why do you even care?"

"You know why," he said, confused.

"Oh." Her voice was tiny. "Is that all?"

"No," he said, exasperated by her complete inability to understand that she was so much better than this. "Listen, I know you think you're broken, but you're _not_. I've seen you in Jacob's memories, how you used to be. You've been tormenting yourself for months over a decision the leech made, when you didn't do anything wrong. Whether I'd imprinted on you or not, I would still think that was a waste, you know?"

"I guess." She didn't sound completely convinced, but at that moment he caught sight of the clock on the wall behind her.

It was almost nine. "Shit, you're late for school."

She shrugged. "It doesn't really matter - not like I pay much attention in class anyway." Paul suspected that she hadn't always had such a blasé attitude about school, though. Yet another thing that fucking leech had taken from her.

"They'll call your dad to check up on you, though, won't they?" The rez high school was pretty lax, but Paul had seen enough teen movies to know that playing hooky from normal high schools wasn't that easy.

"Yeah, I guess," she said reluctantly. She sat down on the couch and pulled on her shoes. "I really don't want to deal with him coming down on me."

Paul walked over to get her backpack from where it was hanging over a dining room chair. "Why isn't he ever here? Is he working overtime?" From what little Paul knew of Chief Swan, he didn't seem the absentee father type, or even there-but-not-really-there in the way his own dad was.

A flash of pain crossed over her face, and he regretted asking. "He's been working at the station… a lot. He says it's because of the hikers who were killed, but I think he doesn't like to be around me." She smiled bitterly. "I'm not a lot of fun to be around, these days. If I ever was."

He held out the backpack so she could slip her arms through the straps, keeping his expression neutral. Did she seriously have no one supportive in her life? "He's not handling it well?"

"I think I scare him," she admitted. "He doesn't understand why I'm not just… better yet."

"You'll get there," Paul said firmly. Even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming every step of the way.

She nodded, but she didn't look convinced as she turned to open the front door. "Are you going to your school now?" she asked as he followed her outside and she locked the door behind them.

"No," he said, skipping over the part where he was a high school dropout. "I left patrol early this morning, so I'll probably go do another hour or two."

"And sleep," she said.

He blinked. "What?"

She looked at him seriously. "You need to sleep. Jake told me why you didn't come back – you took patrol all night so that the other guys didn't have to mess up their sleep cycle or make their parents worry."

She made him sound way too nice, but he didn't bother arguing the point. "I'll sleep," he found himself agreeing. It wasn't like he could deny her anything, even if he'd wanted to. "But I'll be back here when you get home."

"Watching me," she said, her lips tightening.

"_Helping_ you," he corrected. "We're gonna get through this, together. That's what imprinting means. You've got my help, whether you want it or not."

She stepped back from him. "I have to go – second period is when they take attendance." He watched from the front steps as she climbed up into her truck.

"Hey," he said suddenly. She looked back at him. "I meant what I said earlier. I'm sorry about not coming back last night… And that we're gonna figure this out. Together."

She nodded, and her expression relaxed a little. "Okay," she said. That was all, but Paul couldn't help but feel there was something of hope in that one word.

As he returned to the forest that was feeling more like his home these days than his own damn house, he wondered if she'd fully understood what he'd meant.

They were gonna figure out her hallucinations, yeah, but he'd also been talking about their imprint bond.

It was gonna be an uphill battle, but they were gonna get there.

* * *

_As always, thanks for reading._


End file.
